Glitter and Grease
by Jaddy Smith
Summary: Join Kurt and Puck for a bit of Slashy sex... At HUMMEL'S TIRES AND LUBE! LOL BAD-PUN! ONE-SHOT! Kurt/Puck - Purt Hummelman. WARNING: This story contains Slash covered in Glitter and Grease... Should Be Rated R! Tribute to Lady GaGa.
1. Glitter and Grease

**I wrote this story half asleep... and is a tribute to the princess of pop Lady GaGa! I love her, she is my idol!... Enjoy! :)**

**Inspired by Lady GaGa's 'Glitter and Grease'.**

**WARNING: This story contains Slash covered in Glitter and Grease... ;) The _'Glitter' _part refers to Kurt's clothes... and the_ 'Grease' _part refers to... well you have to read it to find out... ;)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Glee. Ryan Murphy does.**

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_**Glitter and Grease**_

_Hot shit in Brooklyn_

_Painted green watermelon_

_That guy's ride is good lookin', good lookin'_

_He tells me that he loves me_

_And even though I'm real sexy_

_He loves his car, car, car_

_He's always with his car, car, car_

"Kurt."

_So I rub that glitter and grease around._

_Rub that glitter and grease around._

_Rub that glitter and grease around, grease around._

"Kurt!"

_Knock it, pump it, wash it, bump it_

_Rub that glitter and grease, he loves it_

_He's so fine, he makes her shiny_

_There's more glitter and grease behind me_

I had just finished pumping up my baby's tires and was now waxing the bonnet to the rhythm of the chorus.

I nearly jumped out of my (glitter-enhanced) overalls, when a strong hand taped me on the shoulder. I reach up and remove the headphones from in my ears, then turn around to see my father standing before me with an aggravated expression.

"Yes, dad? Did you want something?" I ask politely.

"I've been trying to get your attention for the past three minutes"

"I'm sorry, I was listing to Lady GaGa"

"Who?"

"Lady Ga… Never mind. What is it you wanted?"

"I just got a call from Jim, saying he's got a flat and he's stuck out on the highway. I'm gonna go help him. I'm leaving the shop in your hands, do you think you can handle that?" he asked holding my shoulders and looking me straight in the eye.

"No problem." I state surely.

"Are you sure? Under no circumstances are you allowed to leave and 'hang out' with your friends." My dad said using air quotes.

"Yes, dad, I know, I'm not stupid." I say a little annoyed at my dad's lack of trust.

"Okay, well I'm leaving right this second. So I'll see you when I get back."

I put my Heartbeats back in and focus all my attention on cleaning the hood of my Navigator. I got so caught up in the beat of the song that I barely notice another strong hand on my shoulder.

_Jesus Christ, can't a guy listen to his music in peace?_

"Dad, I got it. Just go already…" I remove my headphones for a second time, and turn around ready to throw a hissy fit, when I am met with a totally different figure.

Noah Puckerman.

"Oh, Noah, it's just you. I thought you were my dad." I say looking over Noah's high shoulder to see if my dad had left.

"Dude, _just me? _What, am I not important enough?" he asks with a look of pretend hurt on his face.

"No, no, your more than enough." I lean up and kiss his cheek softly. He turns his mouth and claims mine in a hungry manner. His hands trail down my back to squeeze my butt. I push him away and keep him at arms length.

"Not here."

"Why not?" he whines.

"Because, if my dad comes back and see's us doing it, for starters he will murder you and he will never trust me again."

"But babe, I'm so horny for you."

"And just because your horny, that means I have to risk my dads trust?" _Even though it looked like he had no trust in me what so ever._

"Yea."

"I don't think so." I say patting him on the chest. I turn around to face the workbench, in search of the jack, when I am roughly pushed against it.

"Noah, stop it."

"You make me so hard, you know that?" he grabs my hand and places it on his jean-covered groin.

I gasp.

"I'm gonna take you right here right now, in your daddies shop."

I moaned as he bit down on my ear.

"And there's not a thing you can do about it."

"Please…" I whimper.

He turns me around and bends me over the hood of my car. I try to protest but can't, on account of him sucking at my neck. His long fingers grab the zipper on my back and pulls it down in one swift stroke, exposing my pale skin.

There's no point it stopping him now. Plus I'm too turned on to even care anymore. _Dominant Noah is so hot!_

"D-did you bring a condom?" I ask.

"Of course, princess. How stupid do you think I am? Wait, don't answer that." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small blue foil packet.

"Shit!" he swears.

"What?" I ask.

"I didn't bring any lube." _And there's that idiot thing again._

"Great." I say sarcastically.

"Well there's gotta be something around here we can use."

After a minute of searching I finally feel something very cold, and totally unlike lube, being applied to my ass.

"What did you…?" I turn my head to the side and out the corner of my eye I see black sludge dripping from Noah's fingers. _Wait, black sludge…? Grease!_

"Noah, that better not be grease in my ass." I warn.

"You wanted lube." He said pushing two fingers into my entrance.

"Ugh… I'm so going to kill… you after… t-this." I struggle to say. He's just _so damn good_ at what he's doing… He curled his fingers and rubbed them against my prostate.

"Oh, God!" I moan. He pulls them out, to my displeasure, drops his jeans and replaces them with his latex-clad dick. He pushes just the head in, waits a second and then slides all the way in. I yelp in pleasure.

He grabs me by the back of my hair and lifts me up, so that my back is flush against his chest. His free hand smears grease down my cheek and across my forehead.

"You look so dirty." He whispers into ear.

"So close…" I shudder as his huge cock rams into that spot again and again. He wraps his grease-covered hand around my cock and starts stroking me with vigor.

"F-faster!" I moan. He slams into me with so much force that I have to brace my hands on the car. He holds me down with one arm, leaving me immobile as his pounds in and out of my body, all the while stroking me in rhythm.

"_Noaaaaaaaaaaah!"_ I scream out as I cum into Noah's hand. He jabs my prostate several more time's then cum's into the condom. He collapses on top of me, both of us nearly hyperventilating.

"God… I feel so dirty." I say breathlessly.

"Why? 'Cause you just threw your fathers trust out the window?"

"No. Because I have grease all over me! Not to mention it's now dripping out of my ass." He chuckles.

"You forgot the lube on purpose, didn't you?"

"Oh yea." He says smiling.

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**Next Chapter is just a short Extended/Alternate ending**...

**Enjoy!**

**_Press the Button If You Love Grease Covered In Glitter! (LAME I KNOW)_**

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	2. Glitter and Grease: Alternate Ending

**This is just a short Extended/Alternate ending... anyway enjoy!**

**WARNING & DISCLAIMER ARE THE SAME AS BEFORE.**

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**_**Glitter and Grease (Alternate Ending)**_

I cleaned myself up as best I could – except for the grease currently dripping from my privates – just in time for my father to arrive. He got out of his truck and closed up shop.

"End of another long day…" he sighed. "Oh, hey Noah"

"Mr. Hummel" Noah said clearing his throat. Dad nodded then looked at me.

"Kurt, your face is covered is grease. That's so unlike you," He said wiping some off with his finger. "What the hell happened?"

_Oh shit! I forgot about the grease on my face. I swear to… if there's any in my hair, I am going to kill him… that shits hard to get out._

"Uh… Grease fight." I lied quickly.

"Why hasn't Noah got any on him?"

Suddenly the phone rang, saving us from an unnecessary trip to the emergency room. My dad raised his brow and walked off to the backroom.

"Few… that was close." I said, my heart racing in my chest.

Noah chuckled.

"I don't see whys it funny. If my dad figures it out, he'll cut your thing off." I say sighing as I pick up a cleaning cloth and start to clean my face, "I _still_ can't believe you used grease for lube though"

"You weren't complaining when I was fucking your brains out." He said smugly.

I scoffed.

He leaned in and whispered into my ear, "Steamy hot shower, care to join me?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

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**Hope you loved it!**

**As I said this whole story is a tribute to Lady GaGa... If you love her review... if you love my stories review... if you love this story... REVIEW!  
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**Now I don't think its possible to use grease as lube... so please DON'T DO IT!**

**Here is a link for the 'Glitter and Grease' song: **www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=X68PAbeVGM4&feature=related

**Love You All**

**PAWS UP LITTLE MONSTERS!  
**

**-Jaddy**

**_Press the Button If You Love Grease Covered In Glitter! (LAME I KNOW)_**

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